


Steffie is Semi-Permanent aka Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People

by FiccinDylan



Category: Teen Wolf (TV) RPF
Genre: Bad!Fic, I AM SORRY, Illuminati, NOTP, Pegging, THIS IS REALLY, Unhappy Ending, anti jeff davis, is not a thing, jeff davis is the reason dylan smokes, lol, she's always been the alpha?, so if you're one of his stans, stalia hate free(ly) zone, steffie - Freeform, stickykeys is the alpha, this is not for you boo, this will probably get taken down soon anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-17 19:55:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2321402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So I made the unfortunate mistake of issuing a Saved By the Bell related challenge on <a href="http://soundcloud.com/bhadpodcast">my podcast</a> which Jocelyn got right!  YAY!  </p><p>Then... and I'm just gonna blame George, they (George and Jocelyn) decided to start shipping me with Jeff Davis and Wonder Robbie.  Wonder Robbie (clearly the wisest among us) jumped ship leaving me and Jeff Davis in a wondrously named ship called Steffie.</p><p> </p><p>  <img/></p><p> </p><p>This is our story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steffie is Semi-Permanent aka Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People

**Author's Note:**

> Don't read this. Just... don't okay?
> 
> (unbeta'd because I would never put anyone through that)

"You'll never get out of it Sticky, so why don't you just come make daddy happy?" Jeff Davis lays prostrate on the bed, his arms tied to leather restraints near the bedposts and his legs lain wanton as he thrusts his aching microcock and roid balls into the air. StickyKeys comes beside the bed holding a black velvet box and a grin that seems to lay at the intersection of thrill and disgust.

"I'm tired of fighting you Jeff-"

"Call me Jeffie."  Jeff Davis interjects, wagging his tongue lasciviously at what he thinks is is prey.  Sticky swallows the bile that surged in her throat and opens the box.

"I'm tired of fighting you Jeffie - _oh god_ \- and I've decided... that I'm not going to anymore."  Jeff Davis moans a little bit without closing his eyes, keeping them locked on StickyKeys' furrowed brow. 

"Your brows remind me of Hoechlin.  You won't believe what I got him to do."  Sticky nodded, her gaze fixated on the middle distance as she imagined the atrocities Hoechlin had to go through.  She knew she had to do this now.  For herself, for Hoechlin, and for humanity.  She reached into the box and pulled out a black leather strap on.  Jeff Davis inhaled with a stuttered moan in anticipation.

"This is my friend George, Jeffie.  George is thick, and dark, and long, and soon Jeff Davis?  George is going to be inside of you. Would you like that Jeff Davis?  Would you like George to be inside of you?"  Jeff Davis nods excitedly.  Sticky puts on a pair of gloves and touches his hip to turn him, but he shakes his head roughly.

"No."  He demands, indignantly.  "I wanna see you."  Sticky's face furls into a frown that seems to give even more life to Jeff Davis.  She swears his eyes flash blue, but she can't tell for sure.  She goes to the bathroom and a few moments later she comes out wearing the strap on, a studded leather bra, and steel toed boots.  She clomps to the bed and reaches for the lube.  As she's about to grab it, Jeff grabs the bottle and throws it across the room.

"I already used a little, besides, I like it kind of rough."  His voice came out wrecked as he expertly threw his tiny legs behind his head, exposing himself to StickyKeys.  Sticky looked down to see what looked to be santorum slithering from his anus.  

"Oh don't worry, it's not what you think, the lube I use is gravy flavored."

" _Ewww_ what?"  

"I saw this anime where some guy goes to town on another guy with a corn on the cob and I called Dylan O'briien to get a little frisky.  I invited him over for Thanksgiving at Jeffie's house."  StickyKeys shudders and shakes the newfound self hatred she's realizing she's wearing like a cloak to the ground.  Then she thinks better of it and tosses Jeff Davis his phone.

"Don't say anything.  Just send me the name of that anime."  Jeff grins his meth addled Cheshire grin while typing swiftly on his keyboard.  When done he tosses the phone away and grabs his ankles.

"Come on Sticky.  Stick your George into my sweaty, sticky Jocelyn!"  StickyJeys thinks back to her mission and forges ahead.  She climbs the bed and grabs the back of Jeff Davis' knees.  She lines up George's head and begins to sink him into Jeff's quivering anus.  

" _Fuuuuuuck_ yeah!  Fuck me with the black leather cock!  Fuck me with George!  Do it Sticky!"  And boy does she ever.  She pushes in with one surprisingly smooth thrust, pumping her hips excitedly as Jeff falls apart beneath her.  It's rough and brutal and everything he's ever wanted.  She rams into him again and again, assaulting his pleasure center as he's tossed around wildly on the bed.  He can feel his orgasm pooling in his lower back, sweat gliding down the back of his thighs and down his balls.  He grunts, as though it's a mating call beckoning his release to overtake him.  He finally cums, piddly drops spraying from his penis like a cat in heat.  

"OH GOD!"  StickyKeys shouts out.  

"YES STICKY!  YOU LOVE IT TOO!"  Sticky shakes her head and tries to wipe her eyes.

"NO!  IT BURNS, OH GOD IT BURNS!!"  Jeff Davis laughs as Sticky regains her composure for part two.  

"You like that Jeffie?!  You like taking George up your slutty, used up hole?

"Yeah StickyKeys, I fucking loved it.  Your disgust and horror turned me on so much."

"Well if you liked it, I think you should give George here a kiss."  Jeff Davis' eyes go wide and he nods excitedly as Sticky withdraws the strap-on from his gaping hole.  She places the tip at his lips, giving him a look of satisfaction that he can't seem to register, having never seen it before.  She smiles gleefully as his tiny mouth gags around the leather of her faux cock.  She fucks his face brusquely, causing his face to turn a bright crimson red.  He muffled out pleasured groans as he tries to get air, luxuriating in the pain.  He's in a near euphoric state when it happens.  

StickyKeys grabs either side of his face and fucks into his mouth with reckless abandon.  She takes one hand and put it around the cock, pushing a small button on the underside of the shaft.  She laughs maniacally as a thin, steel blade releases from the tip and goes right through the back of Jeff's throat, bursting through his skull.  Sticky continues her thrusts as blood and brain matter splatter the sheets beneath them and the headboard behind them.  Which each thrust, Sticky found a new reason to fulfill her purpose.

"That's for killing Derek's entire family, and not allowing them to rebuild on the Hale land!  That's for not explaining what a True Alpha is or how it works! That's for killing Allison!  That's for Danny! That's for STEREK!!!  THAT'S FOR STALIIIIIIIIAAAAA!!"  Sticky stops suddenly realizing what's happened as she discovers that Jeff Davis' head has been removed from his body and rests between her hands.  She looks at it, contemplating the weight of what she's done.  She snorts once, and then guffaws, descending into cackles as her eyes flash bright alpha red.

***

 The funeral is nice actually.  Closed casket of course, but it's decorated with daisies and white roses.  Cody Saintgnue and Damon Jackson sit in the front row, tissues in one hand and red-out eyedrops in the other.  The officiant asks for a moment of silence after everyone has gathered  Everyone cries; some tears of sadness, others tears of relief.

"The day I met Jeff, my whole life changed.  And I'll be forever grateful."  Everyone nods silently as Dylan O'brien takes his seat and goes back to texting with Britt.  

"Jeff was truly one of a kind."  Tyler Hoechlin says briefly before sitting down next to Dylan, signing Sterek items to give to fans at the next convention.

"JEFFFFFF!  OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE?!?"  Wonder Robbie throws himself on the casket and begins humping it, having to be pried off by two of Jeff's former poolboys.  They're still in speedos for some reason.  

As they leave, Damon Jackson throws in a small baggie of coke and a straw.  "For that industry party in the sky, dude."  Cody puts an around his shoulder and they both exhale before taking their leave.  

***

It's dark in the graveyard, the only light is the moon shining through the mist and the burn of a passed joint between two men and a shovel.  Damon Jackson and Cody Saintgnue look at each other and nod.  They each take one last toke and begin digging.

***

_3 Months Later_

"I can't believe it's over.  All those years of torture, of stress.  It's all over.  And they're going to keep the show going so there may be a chance to right my character before I go off to do movies!"  Dylan flips the electronic cigarette in his hand.  Ever since Jeff died he hasn't had a lot of stress so he doesn't feel like smoking as much.  He keeps an E-cig on him just in case, but he has yet to light up.  Also, his hair looks _fantastic_!  Tyler Hoechlin nods in his chair.

"Yeah, he had so much blackmail on me and all my ex-boyfriends that I had to sign his shitty contracts.  I hated disappointing all of those fans.  I'm just happy they're going to give us one more year."  Dylan chuckled,

"I can't believe it.  I hear they gave StickyKeys life in prison, but evidently they sent her to Camp Cupcake and there were a bunch of disgruntled Teen Wolf fans in there so she's basically royalty.  She even gets to leave sometimes, it's not a bad life.  You wanna sign the card I'm sending?"  Tyler nods quickly,

"Hell yeah, I owe her so much.  Hey, have they found Shelley yet?"  Dylan shakes his head.

"Nah, someone says they saw her down in Mexico.  Something about selling donkeys or something?  Whatever makes her happy."  

"I'm so happy, Dylan."

"So am I Tyler, so am I."

"So am I boys, I'm so fucking happy!"  Dylan and Tyler freeze up immediately at the familiar voice.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"  They turn around at the same time and see Jeff Davis' smirking face, Cody on one side and Damon on the other.  Shelley Hennig and Meagan Tandy stand behind him and in the corner Tyler Posey is crying huddled over Dylan Sprayberry.

"I see you missed me boys and I'm so happy to hear it!  I have the scripts for season 5, I think you'll really like what I've chosen to do with your characters!"

Dylan and Tyler take their scripts and stare in disbelief as Jeff and his crew saunter past them.  Tyler rubs his ass from where Jeff pinched it.

"Was that duct tape on his neck?"

"Fuck I need a cigarette.  This e-cig is a fucking joke, T-Pose stop being a little bitch and get me something unfiltered now!  Hoechlin, I know you gotta have some chew on you man."

"Dylan there's m-preg in here... you're giving birth to Malia's baby.  But at one point she hits you, but you forgive her and take her back?"  Tyler is thumbing through the script while Dylan is patting him down searching for nicotine.

"Fuck me!  FUCK!"  Dylan picks up a chair and throws it across the room.  "I'll fucking kill him, I swear to God.  I'll kill him again!"

"Braeden and I get married and evidently adopt Malia?  Oh man, we kiss and I tell her that now I've gone black I'm never going back?!  The shippers are going to hate us Dylan."

"WHO HAS A GUN!?  I KNOW ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS IS CARRYING!  WHO HAS IT?!  HOW THE _FUCK_ DID THIS HAPPEN?!"

Dylan drops to the floor sobbing and pulling out chunks of his own hair.  Tyler holds him in his arms and shakes them both, trying to find some sort of peace.  

"This is going to be the last time we see each other.  The only scenes between us are with Ian Nelson.  They're going to digitally create a sterek kiss, but it will all be a dream.  They're going to make Ian Nelson say the F-word.  It's never going to end, is it Dylan?  Dylan?"

***

_12 months later - Camp Cupcake_

"OMG you guys, the new season of Teen Wolf starts tonight!  How excited is everyone?!  I can't wait to see what they've done with the new showrunner!"  Everyone cheers as StickyKeys takes her usual place near the front (next to Ina Garten) and turns on the TV.  

"It's crazy that we haven't gotten any new promos.  I kind of like that they're keeping everything under wraps though.  I'm really excited to see what the new showrunner is going to do!"  StickyKeys turns up the volume and gets her popcorn ready.

" _Welcome to Season 5 of Teen Wolf! In an unprecedented move, here's a word from the Teen Wolf Showrunner"_ Everyone looks around confused.  This was new, but it must just be an In Memoriam for Jeff Davis or something?

Suddenly, Jeff Davis' face appears on screen.

"Surprise bitches, I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me."

StickyKeys wails at the screen, clawing at it and sinking to the floor, convulsing in agony.  Screams fill the room as they watch the opening credits whiich have Posy levitating again and the rest are the characters but with Malia in every scene.  Stiles is stringing his board and Malia has a hand possessively around his neck.  Derek is there in full wolf form and Malia is brushing his mane.  

StickyKeys vision starts to blur, and the last thing she sees is the card before the first scene.

 

**_Executive Producer_ **

_Jeff Davis_

_Cody Saintgnue_

_Damon Jackson_

  


**Author's Note:**

> I warned you. You have no one to blame but yourself. Now leave me comments so we can cry together.
> 
> (and for the po po's sake, I have no ill intentions against Jeff Davis. This is all made up.)
> 
> (this is the best thing I've ever written)


End file.
